Is it okay for Hearing people to order food in restaurants without voicing?



Question:
An ASL student asks, "If I go to a restaurant with a friend and we want to practice our sign language, is it okay to keep our voices off while ordering?" 

Issues: Concerns about using up goodwill and/or behavior that might not be culturally appropriate."
 


Response
It is a complex issue and the best approach is going to require matching one's behavior to the individual situation.

If a Hearing (or Deaf) person wants to order food in a restaurant without voicing -- a solution for not using up goodwill when ordering via not voicing is to write out your order ahead of time -- clearly, legibly, and completely. 

Decide ahead of time the type of bread you want, how you want your egg cooked, which sides you want, what salad dressing you want, how you want your steak cooked, if you want ranch dressing -- or water or whatever else and write it down ahead of time!!! Do the waiter's work for them. Often it is literally faster and smoother than ordering via voice.


Do the work ahead of time! (I'd type that in all caps except we avoid yelling around here.)

Fun little benefit is you also now have proof of what you ordered!

Warning: Often the waiter will find your written order so convenient that they will just take your paper with your pre-written order instead of writing it all down on their own -- so if you want to be double safe take a picture of your paper with your order on it! (Two more seconds of "work").

It may help to place on the table in plain view a phone with a "Live Transcribe" or similar app open.
Have the menu open and be ready to point to your menu choice. 

If the menu is small or confusing, consider taking a picture and expanding or cropping the picture to include only the specific menu item you wish to order.

Have a pen and paper ready to clarify or add information if needed.



Goodwill maintenance idea #2: Leave a generous tip.

If you can't afford to leave a generous tip and yet you want to practice signing while eating -- cook at home and invite people over to your place or go to a park and do your eating and signing there.

Life is full of tradeoffs. Pick your trades and move on to the rest of life.

 


 


I absolutely think it's ok to communicate visually / by writing or typing, as long as you are well prepared, make the waiter's job easy and smooth, and leave a good tip. However, if a person ends up doing a lot of "real time" typing -- that may be an indication that they may not have done enough "preparation" ahead of time.

Using sign language in a restaurant is not the same as pretending you are Deaf.
It might actually inspire more people to learn ASL.

The problem is rookies who don't actually know how to navigate the visual / gestural ordering process and haven't done the pre-work. (It is okay to be a rookie -- it just means you likely need to put in more effort to get the same results as someone who knows what they are doing.)

Most adult, socially active Deaf know how to skillfully order in restaurants using visual approaches.

There are many different effective visual approaches. I tend to overdo the communication just because I like to get exactly what I intended when ordering. For example, if the printed menu is small or confusing I tend to take a picture and expand or cropping the picture to include only the specific menu item I wish to order.

The fact is, pointing and gesturing may actually speed up the ordering process -- especially in noisy environments.

Flipping the script: At least one Deaf waiter has mentioned in a comment thread that their Hearing customers seem to actually enjoy being able to "point" at exactly what they are ordering.


 



 

Notes


Austin Andrews (the CODA that runs the ASL YouTube channel "Atwi" and did the "Mind Bullet" video relating to his choice to not voice in restaurants) shared a typical experience:

"After entering the restaurant and getting seated, the waiter comes to take our order, starting with me first.
I let the waiter know what I want by pointing at the menu and gesturing and the waiter understands me without any problem at all.

Likewise, the waiter clearly understands the gestures of the next Deaf person ordering; and so on, with each person - until the other hearing
person decides to order ... using spoken English.
The moment that person's spoken word hits the mind of the waiter - who, may I remind you, has understood our gestures just fine all along
- the moment that word hits his mind...
... it blows his brains out.

All of a sudden, that same waiter struggles to communicate with this same group, using gestures. Now the waiter is asking the other Hearing person to interpret for everyone in the group, making them the de facto interpreter of the evening, interpreting for me - even though I'm Hearing!

So that's why, whenever I'm at a restaurant or a store with Deaf friends, I never communicate using spoken English.

A word is like a bullet; when it hits the mind, capacity for a typical person to communicate visually is blown out of their brains." (Andrews, 2015).

While it isn't the main point of his story, an important point in that story is the part where Austin states:
"... I let the waiter know what I want by pointing at the menu and gesturing and the waiter understands me without any problem at all. Likewise, the waiter clearly understands the gestures of the next Deaf person ordering; and so on..."

A takeaway here is that it is possible to order via pointing and gesturing without any problem at all.

(At least it is if you are a skilled visual communicator.)

________________________
Reference:
Andrews, Austin. (2015, August 9). Why I don't use my voice when in public with Deaf friends [Video]. YouTube channel: Atwi. https://youtu.be/-nczU5hu3iU


 

 






 
Notes: