WARNING: This page discusses "adult" topics.
I present this information here because interpreters, parents, and educators
need access to credible, straightforward information.
SEX:
This is the basic sign for "sex."
Concept: "Being lovey dovey." Two people who are very much in love
interacting physically with each other.
The sign is two "ILY" hands rubbing together. Both hands move in small
circles. The ILY handshapes are acronyms for "I LOVE YOU."
Concept: "Making Love"
Signs: MAKE LOVE (English version).
Some ASL instructors might tell you this is English, and to a they would be right...but they are missing the point.
These two signs are often used by highly skilled ASL signers as a
euphemism. A euphemism is a mild or polite way of saying something that
would otherwise be considered blunt, harsh, or offensive (dictionary.com).
People who know two languages (bilingual) often codeswitch to another
language when they say "taboo" words as a way of either emphasizing or
downplaying the taboo. I have interviewed numerous people
regarding this topic and have found time and again that the older, well
traveled, and educated Deaf tend to borrow this and other "polite" phraseology
when discussing sex and related concepts in public. For example, I
remember being there at a conference when someone asked Patrick Graybill (famous Deaf educator) how he
signed "testicles." He replied that he and his contemporaries always just
signed NUT ("nuts").
Concept: "have sex"
Signs: HAVE SEX
Again, you may see this "English" version used as a "code switched" way of
"being polite."
Copulate: "Go to bed together."
INTERCOURSE / (f__k)
Either a single or a double movement.
"Wanna f__k?" would tend to be a single movement.
"Those two have been screwing all night." would tend to use a double
movement.
Note: This sign can be inflected to mean the "swear word"
F___!" See
the next entry.
Note: The term "f___" is considered somewhat less of a swear
word in the Deaf community than it is in the "Hearing" world. But even
in the Deaf world it is still a blunt, crude expression that is potentially
offensive to people of elevated sociolinguistic backgrounds.
Expletive: Aw F_ _K!
This is an inflection of the sign "intercourse." Note the single
movement. Much faster. More intense. The hands tend to impact with
more force.
VARIATION:
Expletive: The exclamation "F_ _ _!" is often expressed as lexicalized fingerspelling. What that means is you spell it in a way that makes it
look more like a sign. For example, you drop the middle letters (just
spell "F" and "K") and move the hand forward with a quick hard jab while
mouthing the word "f_ _ _" and jerking your head a bit.
H_MPING, SCR_WING, or B_LLING:
Expletive: AW F _ _ _!!! (Variation)
This inflection of the sign is used as a swear word. Note the single,
quick, hard movement, and intense facial expression.
I remember one day many, many years ago I was visiting the old "Utah Center
for the Deaf" (back when it was called that and back when it was in Bountiful, Utah). I had just finished
teaching an evening ASL class. The janitor and I were hanging out at
the front door getting ready to leave when I mentioned that the window in
the library was unlocked. He exclaimed, Oh F___! using this sign.
He did it much more naturally than I ever could. (Lots of practice I
reckon.) He used a smaller movement, and a wide-eyed surprised look--as in:
"Oh geeze, I can't believe I almost went home without that being locked!"
Penetrating:
Penis going in and out of hole.
This is a very rude and offensive sign unless you are in a doctors office,
or discussing things with your lover.
LAYING:
Here is a very blunt, crude way of referring to sex:
Optional Reading:
In a message dated 10/31/2005 1:45:27 PM Pacific Standard Time,
_____@______.edu writes:
Hello Dr Vicars:
Please allow me to introduce myself a
bit. My name is _______ and I'm a full-time professor
for Interpreter Training Program (ITP) at a community
college in ______. I'm deaf. I teach various courses, from ASL
to Deaf Culture/History.
The reason why I'm writing this is to ask
for your professional opinion regarding F-word sign. I've
intensive knowledge in ASL and Deaf Culture for over 20+
years. Now, let me explain what happened that caused the
dispute between my colleague and me (and my boss).
Last September, I just began my first
year at the college and there was a show, involving hearing
students signing the musical songs one Saturday evening in a
couple of weeks. I brought a friend along with me to see
it. During the show, in a few songs, several students
signed, "F___" (please excuse the language) a few times. My
friend and I were shocked. Then during the intermission, I
asked some deaf people about it and they said it was the
first time they've seen it that evening after a few shows in
the past. I also asked a couple of hearing people if there
was any vulgar words in the songs such as "f___" and they
said no. In the songs, there were simple sentences that
hearing audience hear and would know the hidden meanings,
such as "my man and I will meet at the love shack and we'll
have fun there...." (not exactly quoted but similar
concept). I was a bit concerned because our program was
representing the college and earning the money as part of
fundraising to support the program. Also, there were
children and teens, both deaf and hearing who know signs.
It was more of a family atmosphere event of all ages. The
show is an occurring event, hosted by my colleague and she's
hearing.
The following week, after asking my boss,
the dean of the dept. who's coordinator of the ITP (he has
no education nor knowledge of ASL and deaf culture and
interpreting...the program's relatively new by only 3
years), for his advice about the sign and was given a green
light, I went to see my colleague. After a few minutes of
light chat chit, I brought up the issue about the sign,
immediately, she became defensive and disagreed with me
vehemently, saying that it's my personal opinion. I tried to
explain that it's not an appropriate sign to use in the
public unless it's a special presentation like sexual
education about AIDS/HIV for groups age over 18 and only in
private conversations, both with friends and in
doctor's/counselor's appointments. She thinks it's fine and
that the sign actually means "intercourse". I explained
that the sign is actually used as a vulgar sign (99% of the
time) and not common in public presentations in the Deaf
Community unless it's a special play by Shakespeare or a
certain monologue but often, it shows at least once, not
frequent (except for sexual education course/workshop). It
was a frustrating moment because first of all, she has 6
deaf siblings and has no college degree nor interpreter
training certification. It was all her own personal view.
I asked if she ever asked other deaf professionals for their
advices or opinions about using the sign and she said no,
because she thinks she's right.
Then, last month, I decided to teach my
students the difference between "f___" and "sex" and when
it's okay to use in public and when it's not okay to use it,
etc. since most students learned the wrong idea from her in
the past year. Recently, I was confronted by my colleague,
saying that I shouldn't teach that to them and that I was
"obsessed" with the issue because the students were
rehearsing for the show on the same week and she thought I
was making a big issue out of it. Honestly, I wasn't
because I wanted to straighten out the misunderstandings of
the signs before I showed the video on Signs of Sexuality
Behavior as part of the course and of course, to save them
from embarrassment in the future when they graduate from the
program.
Now, my boss believes her that it's my
personal opinion, not a general view of the Deaf
Community/Culture. That's why I need your help to verify
this.
I appreciate your feedback and opinion.
Sincerely,
________
Dear ______,
The meaning of the sign F___ / INTERCOURSE depends on how it is
inflected: speed, intensity, facial expression, repetition, starting
and ending position, etc. An additional factor to consider is
"mouth movement." (According to Deaf School employees, "F___" is
one word that it seems every deaf kid knows how to both spell
and pronounce.)
The ASL Sign "F___" (using "V" hands) is certainly not the direct
equivalent of the English word "f___" but it can be inflected
to represent the equivalent concept.
The lexicalized (fingerspelled) version #FK (The letters F and K,
the hand moving rapidly forward, while mouthing the word "f___.") is
generally equivalent to the English swear word "f___."
I asked a few of my colleagues (d/Deaf) and we agreed that the sign
F___ (with "V" hands) is generally inappropriate for a community presentation where audience members would feel uncomfortable with the voiced
word "f___."
There are several socially appropriate ways to express the concept
of lovemaking that do not require the sign F___. In response to
your question I have built a web page on this topic and will forward
you the link when I am done. [See above]
Cordially,
Dr. Bill
In a message dated 11/3/2005 2:50:05 PM Pacific Standard Time,
______writes:
Dr Bill,
Thank you very much for
replying back.
Ah, I should have clarify which
sign I was speaking of. It's the two "V" coming together, not
the letters, FK (that's common as mouth morpheme that looks like
"f___" for "oh, forget that" or "who gives a
d_mn" etc.) and
there was no word, "intercourse" in the songs either, just
hidden messages for hearing adults to hear.
I look forward to reading more
of your comment and website soon.
(name on file).
______,
The appropriate sign in that circumstance would have been the two "ILY"
hands rubbing together with a "sexy" double raising of the eyebrow.
--Bill