I am addicted to a tv show in which some of the characters are Deaf. One of
the episodes sparked a question. Is it common for members of the Deaf
community to not approve of dating relationships between hearing and the
Regarding the actions of those around them, it is common for individuals in
any society to encourage actions in others that are empowering to oneself
and to discourage actions that are disempowering. In other words, "What's in
it for me?"
If my son dates a Hearing girl she will likely have Hearing parents, Hearing
brothers and sisters, Hearing friends, Hearing former teachers, well, you
get the idea. I'd much rather my children date Deaf people because if
they fall in love and get married it would mean I would likely be empowered
with a whole new set of people with whom I can communicate visually in my
preferred language. If my children date Hearies that means I may end up
disempowered -- stuck with the challenge of trying to have conversations
with Hearing people. Then, even worse, when my grand children are
born, they are less likely to learn ASL if their mother is Hearing. There is
less of a chance that they will be born Deaf and go to a Deaf school and
thus they will have Hearing (or non-signing) friends (and teachers) with
whom I will have a hard time communicating. They will also probably grow up
to date a Hearing person thus locking me out of any hope for attending a
family reunion where I could enjoy myself instead of sitting in a corner
chatting with my Deaf wife.
Note, I love sitting in a corner with my wife, she is a hot babe and quite
witty. But I'd sort of like to chat with my (eventual) grandchildren too.
Oh, sure, I can whip out my hearing aid and "somewhat make do" but Belinda
(the hot, no longer natural redhead sitting in the corner) may or may not be
able to converse with the little munchkins and that would be a real loss if
It wouldn't be a problem if my children would just date Deaf people eh?
-- Dr. Bill