William Vicars, PhD
1/16/2004
A discussion regarding the impact, challenges, and decisions
hearing families face with their deaf child.
Most deaf children are born into "Hearing" families. The term
"Hearing," in this case, means a family that has no real knowledge
of Deaf culture, American Sign Language, or the Deaf experience.
The first decision Hearing families must face is whether or not to
keep the child. I know you don't see that covered much in the
literature, but this is my article and I'm choosing to mention it.
My wife and I knew that our daughter had Apert Syndrome many months
before she was born. Fully half of society would not have blamed us,
indeed would have supported us, if we decided to terminate the
pregnancy. Of course, there was no way we would have went that
route, but many others would--and have.
Going on the basis that the parents have indeed given birth to a
deaf child. They next decide whether to feel guilty about it or
not.
My mother still feels guilty about me. She questions to this day
whether my being hard- of- hearing is her fault. She wonders if she
hadn't smoked during her pregnancy--would I have been carried to
full term?
Next parents decide whether to become educated regarding what it
means to be deaf. Many parents choose to bury their heads and
distract themselves while their child grows up. Others get books, go
to ASL classes, and join or form networks consisting of other
parents of deaf children. An informed parent will be more likely to
contact and seek support from the local school district. Informed
parents may choose to participate in a "parent-infant-program" that
provides visits from a parent educator or sometimes a Deaf mentor.
This parent educator or deaf mentor is likely to be the first
professional educator in the deaf child's life.
Parents can decide to push for a certain type of educational
programming for their child. In general a parent will end up
focusing on one of two models of deafness. Unfortunately, many
parents buy into the pathological/medical model instead of embracing
the cultural approach to being deaf. In either case, parents can
have a huge impact on their child's education by choosing to get
involved with the formal ARD/IEP process. Their child has certain
legal rights to a free, appropriate, public education. These rights
are protected and can best be secured by the appropriate application
of the individualized education planning process. To that end,
educated parents should attend their child's IEP meetings and stand
up for their child.
Parents would be well advised to get to know their child's teachers.
By working together as a team they can provide much greater support
and a much better educational environment than by working
separately.
It is important for parents to have a positive expectation level for
their child. Children go to great lengths to live up (or down) to
our expectations of them. So let's make sure to expect success.
More
parenting topics >